Dryness in the Rain

It's been almost a year.

Almost a whole year.

Normally in a journal, if I get this far behind, I'll try to catch up. I'll try to fill my journal in on what has happened in the past year or however long. Consequently never getting to the point I was actually trying to make.

Luckily, this isn't a journal. And I'm not going to catch anyone up on the past year, though much has happened.

My agenda here is still unclear to me. As the past day of emotions have been unclear and unpredictable. So I will write... and we'll see where it takes me.



Due to the recent move to University, I have been, over the past few months, developing a lot of new relationships. And I've learned through those relationships more about who I want to invest in and who I want to invest in me. Just as I've always been told, "You are who you hang out with."

In spending time around new people, I've noticed, like always, I pick up little quarks that other people have. Tones that they add to their voice. Things they do with their face. Gestures. Attitudes.

I find myself saying the things that they say, and likewise. I hear more and more people saying "stenchy" all the time. I speak like those I hear.

And it scares me. Because those aren't the only ways that people rub off on me.

It makes me want to seek wise and God-fearing friends. Because those who don't live like God is the King won't help me live that way.

Being at APU has been an interesting time. I hit a large wall of complacency when I got here. And what I needed the whole time was support. Guys to tell me to suck it up and do what God wants even if I don't feel like it matters. And it wasn't until this past week or so that I found a few close guys who will be there for me and also push me towards God. And that's what I needed.

Relationships with other men provide me with something that a mentor, a disciple, or a girlfriend could ever provide me with. So I've looked. And prayed. And God is providing.

So, I've figured a few things out. Prioritized.

First and foremost, for the sake of my faith, I want to surround myself with guys who have God on their lips constantly.

Having close men my age to lift me up and speak wisdom into my life has always been huge. And without knowing it, I'd walked into the desert. I was led into a place where I was hungry (because everyone assumes everyone is getting fed). I struggled. Hungry and complacent. Lonely in the event center. Dry in an ocean.

But trusting God has been a good call. He provides.

It's plain to see now that God knew what He was doing when He led the Israelites into the desert, and then thousands of years later when He led Jesus into the desert. He chose them in both cases. And He claimed them. Then He led them into the desert (on the way to the Promised Land).

And He loved them, and provided for them, and disciplined them. In the desert.

He knew what He was doing.

And thousands of years later He still knows what He's doing as He leads me through it.


Praise be to the One who provides in the desert.