Roots

I totally had intentions of blogging on an (almost) daily basis. I guess I underestimated how much stuff I could distract myself with. And then when I would actually sit down to blog, I rarely completed them because I couldn't get my thoughts clear enough for my liking. So I didn't blog.

Here's where I'm at.

A while back I heard Pastor Greene make a good analogy for getting into the Word. He said something like, "Reading the Bible everyday won't always be glorious. Just like not every meal you have is a feast. But it will give you the nourishment you need throughout the day."
In the same manner, going without the Word, or Prayer, or reflection is like going without a meal. The longer you go without it, the less healthy you will be. And eventually you will die a spiritual death.

Now, I am one to go back and forth on a lot of things. Those who know me best can testify to this. I have a hard time being zealous for very long. This is true in many areas of my life. Especially my faith. I will go a month or two of being absolutely on fire for Christ, wanting to tell anyone and everyone the good news. It's quite an exciting time. But then I will put that on some sort of back-burner, and live my life based on myself. Which is when I do stupid things.

It all went around and around and around in circles for me pretty much since high school started. But in high school I had two morally upright best friends. Nathan and Jeff. They kept me from making too stupid a mistake. They were an enormous blessing.
However, going into college, they went away, and there was really nothing to replace them, or what they had done for me. I worked at CBS for a summer, and came back as zealous as ever. But I came back into a world without a community. Not one brother to stand by me the way that Nathan and Jeff did.
So I joined another community of friends. One that was focused on Christ. Or something like that. I don't blame them, they just weren't what I needed at the time. So I reached out to people, I just reached too far in the wrong places. I was pulled (by the world, and by my own sinful nature) into places I never intended to go.
This whole ordeal sent me into a depression. Depression for about 7 months. It wasn't an enjoyable time. Just before my second summer on Catalina, it was all at it's worst.
When on Catalina, I thought I had it all ironed out. The experience was awesome, but it was rough.
Coming back was interesting. I was zealous again. I had a good idea of what I needed to avoid. But I overlooked a lot. So I came back and made some crucial mistakes. And I didn't know where to go from there. I had to put a lot on pause in order to figure out my problems.

And that's where I'm at. It has definitely been an interesting journey thus far. But what I'm discovering more and more each day is that it all starts new each day.

Every morning I have the choice to give my day to God. That is, dedicate everything within it to Him, and let Him have the glory for it all. Or, I can choose to live for myself. This one is much easier to do. The world screams at us to get our attention, but God only whispers.

So my new routine is to wake up, read the Word, eat, and Pray. That way, to start the day, I may not have had a feast by heart, mind or stomach, but will continue to be nourished. And that's where it all begins.

A good tree will bear good fruit. But no good tree goes without good roots.